So...You've Got a Great Idea for a TV show, eh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah...another repost.

But this past week, I was drinking with friends, a few of them wanted to talk TV. They had ideas for shows of their own, and they wanted my advice for how to pitch them.

I'm not the best guy to ask for this. The fact is, I've only worked in TV for a few years now, and I'm still getting used to the pitching process myself (so far I'm batting a 0% for pitching shows of my own). However, I do like to help my friends whenever I can, so I decided to repost this little ditty in an attempt to impart what little wisdom I have.

And also in an attempt to dodge shop talk in future social situations...

Enjoy.

So, You’ve Got A Great Idea for a Television Show, eh?

Okay...Well, I haven't worked in television for very long, so you should take my advice with a grain of salt. Nevertheless, you may want to think about the following things...

1) IS THERE A PRODUCTION COMPANY ATTACHED?

If not, that's a good start.

A lot of people don't realize this, but networks very, very rarely produce in-house programs anymore. Most television shows are produced by independent production companies, then purchased by the network.

That's not to say that networks are out of the production game, altogether. Some shows are produced by networks, but usually only a certain kind, like afternoon talk shows, news, and light variety shows.

Everything else? You should look for a production company. An experienced producer has connections for raising the necessary funds, finding a capable crew, sourcing out stuff like animation, editing, sound production, music composition, web-presence and...Yes...Finding the right network to broadcast your show.

2) IS THERE A NETWORK ATTACHED?

Okay...So maybe you went about your show back-asswards, and you got a network interested before you found a producer.

No problem. You're still in good shape. Lots of networks will dole out some development money for shows they may be interested in broadcasting in the future. It probably won't be much…But it'll be enough to provide incentive to do a bit of writing.

And you'll be getting paid to write...So quit your bitchin'!

Also, network execs have connections of their own, mostly to independent producers who might be willing to take on your show. And, if you're in with a network, and you've found yourself a good contact on the inside, who you can trust, you can gain a lot of valuable insight into what the network is looking for in future shows, giving you a chance to tweak your script into something desirable and get in on the ground floor.

And finally, it'll be way easier to sell your series to a production company if you can tell them that XXX Network has already expressed interest.

3) WHO'S YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE?

Is it for males, aged 18 to 35? You'll want to pitch it to the Comedy Network.

Is it for females, aged 25 to 40? CBC might be into it.

Is it for teens and tweens? Try YTV or the Tele-toon (although this is a very desirable market, so you might want to buckshot all the big networks).

Is there swears/nudity in it? Showcase.

Is there interpretive dance? Bravo

Is it Sketch Comedy? Tuesday nights at the Rivolli. No TV for you.

Sorry, to all you budding sketch comics, but TV sketch comedy's on a downward slide right now. Nobody's really watching it, and it's very expensive to produce. In other words, it's a huge crap shoot. Producers aren't going to spend their bread on sketch unless (like Kids in the Hall or Comedy Inc.) they think they can sell it to networks in the States.

And let me say this one last time to all the people who cite The Kids' In the Hall as the golden example of a successful sketch comedy show.

The circumstances under which The Kids in the Hall was produced. Will. Never. Happen. Again.

Seriously. The fact that it happened once was a miracle. Lorne Michaels will NEVER team up with the CBC to produce a high budget sketch comedy show. Ever again. So quit dreamin'!

Besides, live sketch is far more interesting to watch, so go audition for Second City if you want a career in sketch. You'll learn a shit load about how to make it right, and you'll connect yourself with some of the best sketch/improv artists in the country.

Know your network! Know what they show! Know they're audience! Know what they'd like!


4) IS IT SPECIFICALLY FOR CANADIANS?

If so...Good luck. Chances are, you actually have LESS of a chance selling a "look-everybody-my-show-is-by- a-Canadian-for-Canadians" TV show. Unless...of course…You're pitching to CBC. They're a public network, funded by tax dollars, so they're obligated to airing lots of Can-con.

The fact is, a big focus of the networks is INTERNATIONAL SALES. (E.g.: CTV makes shit-loads of cash off of Degrassi TNG because they sell it all over the world).

Don't get me wrong. You can set your show in a Canadian location, and still have success. Corner Gas and Trailer Park Boys do extremely well on the International Market, even though they are obviously set in Saskatchewan and Halifax, respectively. Similarly, the Kids in the Hall were very popular south of the border. But you'll notice that there's very little Canadian flag waving and Mounties (in Red Serges, at least) in any of these series. Its' quite possible to be a good Canadian show without screaming "I'M CANADIAN!!!" every five seconds. Patriotism is great and all, but geez, relax!

And PLEASE...don't make a show about hockey! It's just not that popular outside of Canada. Really. It isn’t. People in the places that you want to sell your show (AKA: The USA). Do not care about hockey.

And they never will. It's our game. And maybe Sweden's. Nobody else cares about it, so give it up.

Also, as a Canadian (who LOVES hockey), Even I’M sick to fucking death of hockey! Seriously, Canada, ease up on the fucking hockey already! It's getting ridiculous!

Oh...and another thing. If you're one of those high-minded types who is determined to never sell a TV show to the U.S:

Here's a quarter. Call your mother. Tell her you'll never work in television.

Next!

5) MULTI-PLATFORMING!

Can your show be turned into a pod-cast? Can you put promos and excerpts on Youtube? Can you release a sound track? Can you throw up an interactive website? What kinds of "Easter eggs" can you put on the first season DVD's? What kind of merchandise can you sell? T-shirts? Action figures? Video Games?
If there's a positive answer to any of these questions, MENTION IT IN THE PITCH!!

Believe it or not, TV shows make money off of more than just ad revenue. Merchandise is a HUGE way for production companies to recoup their costs from shooting.

Also, not to get all Marshall Mcluhan on you guys, but the face of media is changing.

Fast.

Television, as we know it, is not going to exist in a few years. All the signs indicate that, in our lifetime, your television will be replaced by something that will be far more interactive and individually user-based. Start thinking of your TV as a monitor, and your remote as a mini-keyboard. And start thinking of channel surfing as web browsing. Pay attention to how easy it is to download stuff onto your laptop. Now start thinking about how, soon, you'll be able to do that on your TV.

If I were you, I wouldn't spend money on plasma screens and Hi-Def TV just yet. You don't want to be stuck with a 5 year old antique on your hands, do you?

This shit's going to be here before you know it, and you're going to want to make sure that your show can adapt to the changes.

You heard it here first, folks.

6) WRITE A BIBLE!

(insert your own God joke here. And don't think I've never heard them all before...)

A show bible is a document that describes every facet of your television show. The locations, the characters, the premise, the shooting style, the writing style, the soundtrack, premises of each episode, EVERYTHING.

It's not a five-page document that you whip up two days before your meeting. It is a comprehensive, sometimes exhaustive, very, very specific tome of your show.

Why do you need a bible?

Well, for starters, your pitch meeting is not going to be a light, happy little cup of coffee with somebody who really, really wants to help. It's with producers who will need to work hard to raise the money, or networks that receive hundreds of proposals every year, and will be looking for ANY reason to pass on your project. You are going to be asked a billion questions about stuff you may not have even thought of. You need to know your project backwards, forwards, and inside out.
You need to be 100% confident that YOU CAN DO THIS SHOW! And that THIS SHOW WILL MAKE MONEY!

Otherwise, you're just wasting their time...and yours.

7) WRITE!

You need a script to show them. They don't expect an entire 26-episode season to be written, but they will expect at least one script. If you're the writer, write it yourself. If you're not the writer, hire one, or make friends with one (trust me...writers are VERY lonely people...). When you're confident, show it to people whose opinion you trust. Find somebody that will offer constructive criticism.

Your mother is not one of those people. Nor is your actor buddy who thinks he'll be perfect for the lead role.

Not sure how to write a script? There are tons of books to help you. I highly recommend Screenplay, by Syd Field, or How Not to Write a Screenplay, by Denny Martin Flynn. Also, it's a good idea to bone up on your storytelling. Read The Power of Myth or The Hero with A Thousand Faces, both by Joseph Campbell. And if you're really feeling ambitious, blow the dust off a copy of Aristotle's Poetics and give it a look. It deals specifically with Greek Tragedy, but much of his wisdom holds up in all aspects of writing.

And be prepared to do multiple drafts. If you think your first draft is perfect you're either wrong, or the TV writer's equivalent to Mozart...which you aren't.

Writing takes work. It's a discipline. You need to sit down and actually write. Even when I'm not working, I usually write for at least 2 hours a day...AT LEAST.

Oh, and don't bother with the old "improv-based" pony. If you don't have a script, you don't have a show.

Period.

If you think The Office didn't have a script, or Trailer Park Boys, or any other "improv-based" show on the air, I've got a Tower I'd like to sell you. It's right in the heart of Toronto, and it offers a fantastic view...

And KNOW THE FORMAT! A 22 minute long episode is about 25 pages long. 28 pages is too much (unless it's animation). 18 pages is too little.

And that brilliant script you wrote in Word? Send that to a potential producer and it's going to end up lining her birdcage. You need Final Draft or Movie Magic. You are not a professional screenwriter without a screenwriting program, so bite the bullet and spend the $400. Either one is fine, but FD is generally considered the industry standard.

Oh, and here's another thing you need to know. Executive Producers hire actors.

Creators/Writers hire squat. It's really great that you want to help your friends, but don't promise anything. To anybody. You're just going to piss people off when you can't deliver the goods. I often will tell an actor when I'm writing a character with them in mind. I think that's a compliment. But I don't promise parts to my friends. Ever.

Even though I adore working with my friends...

7) KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "IN DEVELOPMENT" AND "IN PRODUCTION".

IN DEVELOPMENT - means the producers/network are interested in your project. They want to give you a bit of cash to flesh it out and write some scripts for it.

IN PRODUCTION - means that what you've written is going to be shot...as a pilot.

If the pilot is a hit, then you will be green-lit for a season, which means the network has said yes...usually for either 13 or 26 more episodes (probably 13. TV is expensive, you know...). The network will take care of promoting your project and placing it on the air. If it's successful, you will be picked up for another season. If not, make the best DVD package you can, and pray it'll be the next Freaks and Geeks...

Remember, ratings = success to networks. Critical acclaim and awards mean much less.

High ratings means lots of people are watching. Lots of people watching means networks can charge more for commercial slots. Critical acclaim and awards means that lots of TV critics are watching your show...not necessarily anyone else.

Just do the best job you can possibly do. If you get cancelled, it doesn't mean your show sucks. It probably means that you're much smarter than the average TV viewer. Take it as a compliment!

9) DON'T GET DISCOURAGED!

I know that what I've written here is daunting. That's because you're tackling a huge goal. If making TV was easy, everyone would do it. If you want to do it, then you've got a tough road ahead of you. Even if your show goes nowhere, you should be really proud that you tried.

New TV shows have a huge failure rate. But the more you fail, the more you'll know. The more you know, the more you try. The more you try, the more people you'll get to know in the industry, the more experience you'll get, and the better your next effort will be.

10) GOOD LUCK!

I hope this helps. And if your show gets picked up, and you need a writer, hook a brother up!


Jim Out!