I've Been Thinking...

The sheer number of things that could happen in a single day is pretty astounding.

The possibilities that are held in a single hour, let alone a day, a year, or a lifetime should completely blow each and every one of us away. There are no guarantees in life. Nothing and no-one can be depended on. This isn't a depressing thing to me. This is freeing. To me it means that, even if my life is pre-determined, I don't know what that determination is, so I should just fucking relax and enjoy the ride. It means that I should appreciate each and every person that I have in my life, but not rely on them to make my life better for me. That's my job.

It means that I'm always going to be on my own, and that's just fine. Because my life belongs to me, and nobody else.

The number one thing that I hate about civilizations is that each and every member is given their "place". We run around like little rats in a fucking maze, living our lives in a constant, repetitive loop, hoping for that tiny piece of cheese at the end of the chase. We see and do the same routines, day after day after day, and then wonder why we're unhappy. We constantly worry about what other people think of us, never considering the fact that they might think we're fucking fantastic...if we only let them know who we really are. We fall into ruts and routines because that's what's comfortable...not fulfilling. We live our lives in hope...which is really just another word for "hold". We act like everything's going to happen for us tomorrow, when it could just as easily happen today.

Look, I'm not a perfect person, and I don't know everything. I do all the shit I've just complained about above...all the fucking time. I wish I knew how to stop myself (and everyone else) from doing it, but I don't. If any of us did know, I'm pretty sure humanity would be a much, much better for it.

But we don't...so fuck it.

I can tell you one thing, though. Nobody's ever achieved enlightenment by not saying what they feel, or not doing what they think is right. None of the truly great art in the world is watered-down, or catered to the lowest commen denominator. No one has ever become a better person by not being honest with themselves and others.

So here's me being honest: I'm not going to live my life or make my art to please anybody else. I don't give a shit what other people think. I'm sorry if that offends anyone out there...but I don't care.

I'm going to sacrifice my boredom for freedom.

I'm not going to hold out for the cheese at the end of the chase. I'm going to find it right here, right now.

And if any of you don't like that? Well, I've only got one thing to say.

Go fuck yourself.



Jim Out.