A Wee Gnome in Scotland

Well, dear Reader...today's my first full day in Amsterdam. I landed late last night, so I didn't to check much out once I got checked into the hostel. So I'm going to head out for wander. But don't worry! Gnoman's here with a few more photos.

By the way...Gnoman drank too much beer in Berlin, and slept through the whole trip into Amsterdam. He doesn't know which city he's in, right now. I'd like to keep it that way because Gnoman is Gnoman and Amsterdam is...well Amsterdam!

If he finds out where we are, it just might blow his little Gnome-mind.

Shh...here he comes...

It's all yours, Gnoman.

Aw yeah!

First off, what's with the title, Kayak? "Wee?" Who the fuck you callin' wee? I oughta kick your shins in for that.

Alright. So after London, Jim woke me up early in the morning and put me on a plane to Edinburgh Scotland.

Here are the less incrimating photos.


Gettin' on the plane to Edinburgh. MOO!



Once we got settled in, I went for a little stroll along the lake behind the hostel. It was a nice, relaxing way for a gnome to collect his thoughts...



My castle. Impressed, ladies?



I slept through breakfast on the plane, but it's no biggie. There were all sorts of mussels in the lake, so I did some shellin' and scarfin'.


Uh oh...



My tummy's killing me!



Luckily Kayak came along. He put in bed with a bottle of Scotch. Then I was good to go!



Giddyap!



Another one of my castles. Yes, ladies. Gnoman owns a lot of real estate.



This. Is. SCOTLAND!



Dolly the sheep. She's dead now. They put her in a rotating display case. Nice.



I own this car. Ladies?



Uh...does anyone know what time it is?



The Royal Mile, Baby!



They do sidewalks good in Edinburgh.



Free Christmas!



Yummy!



Grayfriar's Bobby. He was a cute little dog that slept on his master's grave for 14 years.



Payin' props to a good dog.



I don't know who the fuck this dog is.



Now you know.



Indeed it is, Johnny. Indeed it is.



Me spittin' on the Heart of Midlothian. Down with taxes!



Just a gnome on a bridge.



I swear to God, Kayak. Tonight, when you're fast asleep, I'm going to punch you right in the neck.



Screw Harry Potter...let me at those draught beers!



A fountain.


There was one castle I don't own in Edinburgh, so I decided to take it by force.



Up the hill I go! Stormin' the castle! Stormin'...whew...this is tiring.

Ah, screw it. Let's go for a beer.


That's what I'm talkin' about!

Well, that's it for my Scotish adventure. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll check out this new place. Where the hell am I, anyway.

Amsterdam. Amsterdam? AMSTERDAM!!!

I gotta...I've been sitting at this computer all this time...when I was in Amsterdam!

Where's Jim's wallet? I'm outta here!

TO THE RED-LIGHT DISTRICT!


Gnoman out.